Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Gotcha day

Where to even begin writing this post. The day Abraham joined our family forever. I again did not sleep well so I knew I would be emotional from the get go. after big breakfast we headed out at 9 am one last time to the orphanage. One last time.... Even as we were driving there I was starting to tear up. All of the things that would happen today kept playing in my head. Abraham would finally get his forever family, we would finally have our son. But also the children at the center would lose a friend. And the nannies who care so deeply for these children would see another child leave. Its bittersweet. I knew exactly how Abraham's special nanny would feel because I too was a nanny before I had my girls. People always say " but they go into the situation knowing the children will leave". "Surely it must not be that bad". From my own personal experience I know that it is impossible to care for a child the way they need to be cared for without falling in love with them. Yes we know we will not care for these children forever, but they deserve every single ounce of love we can give them. Even if it is just for a short while. They should be cared for as if they were our own children.
So we finally arrive again at the black gates and enter the court yard knowing we have just 2 short hours to say our goodbyes. Abraham was sporting his sassy little leopard trimmed pants again, a red shirt and a very small pair of sandals. He wanted to play football (soccer) right away so he and daddy kicked the ball around. He seemed to have more energy today. And again zero fear of us. Thank you God. Only one other kid was out playing in the courtyard. The rest were back in that same class room with the little green chairs. One of the nannies started to set up the farewell coffee ceremony and slowly the kids starting trickling out of the class to play.
It's funny to see how the other children interact with Abraham. They are very kind and gentle to him. One of his roommates, Owen, came up to him and cupped both of his hands on Abraham's face. It was almost like he knew that he would not see Abraham again. Some other kids got him his drink of water first instead of serving themselves. I'm not sure what all the nannies tell the kids about one of their friends leaving but there was this cloud of "knowing" hanging in the air. The kids only played for a short time outside and then all but 2 were shuffled back into their rooms. There were no good byes. This shocked me. I still don't know how I feel about this. In one way they are protecting the kids from feeling even more loss but in another they don't get any closure. One day you are there and the next you are gone.....
We enjoyed our coffee ceremony and popcorn. Abraham even tried the coffee and liked it! Must be in his blood:) The 2 other kids joined us in our little party. But finally it was time to go.
Abraham had two special nannies who cared for him a majority of the time. I could tell it was going to be very hard for one of them. She watched from afar as I stripped him from his orphanage clothes and replaced them with ones we had brought. She quickly walked up to me and Abraham .(Abrashay as they like to call him) She pinched his cheeks one last time, kissed him once on the right side, then the left, then the right again. All she said was "Abrashay, Abrashay" and then hurried off to be alone farther away from us so we wouldn't see her tears. The rest of the nannies said their goodbyes as well and we got a group picture together. His special nanny not able to look at the camera. After the picture, I went back over to his special nanny and kissed her cheeks the same way she had done to my son and I thanked her for taking such good care of him. And that was it....
We loaded up in the van, waving as we backed out of the courtyard and slowly watched the gates close on the life Abraham has come to know for the last 7 months.

Sent from my iPad


  1. I felt as though I was there. Such a great post.

  2. I just cried and cried reading this. Such a bittersweet day. How nice to know that Abraham was loved so much. I'm a little worried about the goodbye ceremony now, though. I want our Little J to be able to say goodbye to her friends.

    Thank you so much for sharing, Kristel.