Bullet points, because I love bullet points

So a few parting thoughts from the trip:

• We are blessed with amazing family and friends.  The outpouring of kindness we received when Kristel couldn't make the trip was overwhelming.  The Grandmas stayed with Kristel to help her through surgery (all is well and Kristel is recovering nicely btw) and her friends repeatedly stopped by to show their love and encouragement.  I can't thank you all enough.  I never expected to have to choose between being with my wife during surgery or being half a world away for my son.  Adoption leads you to places you would never expect.
• The old axiom that women become mothers when they get pregnant and men become fathers when they meet their child holds true for adoption too.  I'll admit to being fairly detached from the adoption process while Kristel struggled with it the last two years.  Meeting our son was like a bolt of lightning.  He is my son and it is good.
• I hope Ethiopian international adoption ends for the right reason.  To me, the right reason is because their economy improves so that the extreme poverty that leads to millions of orphans is minimized to the point that they can care for their own orphaned children.  And I know they would.  I have never seen people who care for all children as easily as they do.  They live the saying "It takes a village" naturally and we saw that in daily interactions every day.
• For those who love us and will be spending time with our new family, I encourage you to educate yourself about adoption and its impact on our son and our family.  He is changing our lives already, and that is good even if it means some things change.  He is not lucky to have lost his family, country and everything he has ever known.  He will be grieving tremendous loss, and that is OK.  We need time for him to bond to our family and it doesn't happen overnight, that is OK.  Below are links to entries from a blog that we enjoy.

http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=53&Itemid=120 - this is a good story to read to try and understand what adoption feels like for the child in a way that adults can relate to.

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/02/how-to-be-the-village#.TrGBJ8ZwWI9.facebook - this is about how you should, and shouldn't, help us through this journey.

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2012/08/21/the-truth-about-adoption-one-year-later - this is an unvarnished look at one adoptive family's story after one year.


Enjoy!!  As always, we love to talk about adoption and our son so feel free to ask us any questions you might have!

Love,
Justin