Adoption Training

We finished our Hague adoption training this weekend at our
 home study agency.

It went really well and we are all set now to just sit back and wait for a referral.
 (like it's that easy, right! NOT!)

Some referrals went out this week, so we are moving along.

I tore apart our upstairs bathroom last week and have kept busy redoing the whole thing.

Trouble is I am already done.

I need to keep busy or my mind wonders back to "the wait" and back to thinking about how our son right at this very moment could be experiencing the worst time of his little life.

 I often think about his birth mother or birth family and how they might be really struggling right now. Struggling with having to make a decision that no family should ever have to make.

To give up their son, their cousin, their nephew, their grand baby.

My heart hurts a lot lately but it can't even begin to hurt as much as the birth family's.

Adoption is so wonderful but it comes out of so much pain, so much loss.

It keeps me awake in the middle of the night.

So I try to keep busy.